Pride? Entitlement? Camp?

Summer Camps.

Last summer my kids were asked by friends if they were going to camp. But it was too soon after our move. And none of us wanted to go anywhere. So we deferred for a year.

And then Levi's friend asked if Levi would be his bunk mate.  Levi was over the moon with excitement.  So we figured out dates, no small feat to work around 2 families summer plans.  And he is going towards the end of summer. The anticipation is going to do him in.  Love It.

Two of my other three also want to go. Emails and messages went out to mom's of their BFFs.  More dates picked out, summer is filling up.  I'm excited my kids are going to Camp Geneva. I'm excited to have fewer at home those weeks.

But I need to apply for scholarships. And I need to go to the church we are regularly attending and ask for a church voucher. Cause it's not in the budget. And that's hard.

On the camp registration, I had about 100 characters to explain my financial picture.  It went something like,  "Young Widow with 4 kids. 3 want to have a camp experience. And I want them to have strong memories of spiritual milestones on their journey."

And I could add more info about Seth so I wrote "Seth grew up as a missionary kids in Kenya. My husband died when Seth was 4. And he needs positive experiences to strength his faith."

That was hard, that was me being vulnerable in a few words. That was me trying not to be dramatic about a traumatic situation. 

And I'm applying for scholarships and still proud.  Even if it's humbling.

And I'm not defensive about my budget. You won't see us at restaurants, cause we aren't there, (maybe you aren't either). We go to the movies as birthday treats or Christmas presents.  I shop at Aldi's and love their fruit and gf foods.  And I am a bit defensive about how I spend money.  Cause I had to give an honest reason for why we need finaincial aid for Camp.  Camp that I think is reasonably priced.  But still.

And I don't think my kids are entitled to a camp experience.  No one owes us a scholarship.  We haven't done anything to deserve a church voucher.  I'm waiting to see what happens. Moving forward. I'd rather ask, than not even try. Ask, Ask, Ask.  It's in God's word. He's given me the green light to fill out the applications. I obeyed. And now I can peacefully wait.

Please don't send me money.  This is about my feelings. And God's faithfulness. And my vulnerability.